DINKs Are Everything Wrong With Society: How to Break The Mindset
DINKs are everything wrong with society. But to be honest, I'm a DINK.
The DINK trend on TikTok was all over conservative podcasts and talk shows last week. This trend is where a DINK couple (DINK = Dual Income No Kids) goes back and forth telling the world why being a DINK is great. Some of these DINK advantages include:
- Going out to eat every night
- Getting to buy the snacks you want
- Going to football games and playing golf whenever
- Getting asked at family events what is going on in your lives (not your kid's)
- Always thinking about your next vacation
- Going to Trader Joe's and workout classes on the weekends
- Going to Florida on a whim
- Already planning a European vacation next year
- Getting a full 8+ hours of sleep
- Getting deserts and appetizers at restaurants
- Getting to play with other people's kids and give them back
- Spending discretionary income on $8 lattes
- Maxing out 401ks, Roth IRAs, and HSAs
This term is not new. It was a popular term in 1985-1990. But it was used almost exclusively in a negative way. Being a DINK indicated selfishness and unnecessary extravagance.
It now seems to be a perfectly acceptable lifestyle.
However, most married couples would technically be DINKs at some point in their marriage.
For example, my wife and I are DINKs. However, Lord willing, we do not intend to stay that way. But this is not the mindset of those who would traditionally be called a DINK.
What is the DINK Mindset?
The DINK mindset is intentionally not having kids to live life on your own terms.
Because, let's face it, kids are a major sacrifice of time, money, sleep, and opportunities. For younger couples, having kids means that they will likely not be able to do the things other young couples do. No going to Florida on a whim, no football games and golf whenever.
That is too restricting.
Being able to live life on your terms is essential to being fully human, right? And having someone dependent on you restricts the things you can do.
So even though DINKs can afford to have kids, they choose not to because they want to go on vacations, eat out, and drink $8 lattes.
Why The DINK Mindset Prevails
The DINK mindset prevails because we have reduced marriage to be whatever each person wants it to be, and we have made abortion and birth control commonplace.
As a society, we have completely lost touch with the fact that God is the one who created marriage and that it was created by Him for a purpose.
We've also made it a cultural dogma that to be fully human, you must be able to live your life on your terms. Children do not get to interrupt your life. You can choose not to have them. You can even murder them if necessary.
These two issues arise because we have lost a cultural awareness of the gospel. Even just 20 years ago, both Christians and unbelievers saw virtue in sacrificing oneself for the good of others, dying so that others might live. But now, for many people, that is unthinkable.
Overall, the DINK mindset is based on incredibly short-term thinking.
It's a common Greek Proverb that, “A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they shall never sit.”
It is quite the opposite today. Today, society grows weak with men and women who refuse to plant anything that they will not immediately eat the fruit of, leaving future generations without shade.
How to Break The DINK Mindset
Since the DINK mindset is caused by a lack of understanding of marriage, children, and ultimately, the gospel, the cure is the gospel and biblical teaching.
Jesus told us our marching orders are to, "make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you." (Mt 28:19b–20).
The act of making disciples involves 1.) baptizing them, and 2.) teaching them to obey all Jesus has commanded us. ALL Jesus has commanded us? That involves what Jesus commands about marriage and children.
Marriage was created by God to be an image of the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph. 5:32). And on a practical level, as the traditional wedding liturgy says, marriage was created by God for mutual joy, help and comfort in times of prosperity and adversity, as well as the procreation of children.
Children are a gift from the Lord (Ps. 127:3), not a waste.
The Lord designed the union of one man and one woman to be the economic powerhouse that makes raising children possible. Not so that one man and one woman would spend this abundance on their desires.
"Grandchildren are the crown of the aged" (Pr 17:6a).
God made children to be an investment. Parents invest and sacrifice so much for their children so that, when they grow old, they may have a glorious cloud of children and grandchildren to support them.
We are very far from that mentality now.
To return to this Biblical mentality, it will take many generations of faithful Christian discipleship–many generations of Christians faithfully being salt and light to this very confused culture.
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